The Singles Bar: 09/04/12

There’s a running theme in The Singles Bar that when I pick a track to be Single Of The Week, that song invariably goes on to be one of the worst-selling singles by that artist. Even big-hitters like Beyoncé and Madonna aren’t immune to this curse. However, the baton was passed on to Andrew Baer last week for his first appearance in this column and what happens to his Single Of The Week by Carly Rae Jepsen? Of course, it goes straight in at the top of the charts.

So, let’s see who I can curse this time round in this Easter edition of The Singles Bar. I apologise in advance to the winner.

Lana Del Rey – Blue Jeans

Oh no, I’m really confused. I haven’t had a memo for a few weeks – are we allowed to like Lana Del Rey now? As you know, us writers in the music biz get together in a dark room every few weeks and decide who we’re going to hype, and who we’re going to trash. I must have lost my invite to the last meeting – now I’ll have to judge her on the quality of her music alone; OH NOES! The submissive starlet routine is a little wearing over an entire album, but LDR still puts out great singles, and Blue Jeans ticks those boxes. It’s got a little more weight and pep to her previous releases and there’s a great vintage, scuzzy feel to the instrumentation. Whoever this guy is that Del Rey is so devoted to, he must be an incredible catch. Blue Jeans is vocally great, a bit gothic and pretty catchy too. Of course, if I’ve been misinformed on what my opinion should be, I reserve the right to take all the above back. 7/10

Usher – Climax

Now, here’s an interesting one. Usher’s decided to come out of his comfort zone and work with Diplo for this track, so do we give props to Usher for that decision, or question what the hell Diplo’s doing teaming up with the crown prince of 21st Century bedroom-eyed soul? Instantly, this is about 1,000% better than anything Usher’s done in seven years or so – there’s a real emotional distance to the music which works brilliantly against the vocal. It builds and envelops wonderfully, but never quite spills over into a euphoric, er, climax, like you’d expect it to. The production shows that slow jams can still be inventive and affecting; Usher’s “I’m-a-bit-sad-I-am” vocals are a little on the strained side, but it’s a fantastic song nonetheless. 8/10 – SINGLE OF THE WEEK

Santigold – Disparate Youth

Santigold’s one of those artists you want to be great, but never seems to quite deliver. Initial signs aren’t promising here, as the opening arpeggios recall Kate Nash’s ghastly single, Mouthwash. However, once the vocals come in, there are buzzsaw guitars, atmospheric strings and off-beat, reggae piano loops, dispelling any such fears. Santigold is never anything less than intriguing, but Disparate Youth shows that she could still do with adding a few hooks to her songs before stepping into the recording studio. There are expert touches all over this piece, but there’s no chorus and, as such, it seems to meander along without reaching a satisfactory conclusion. Whereas the Usher track above builds and wrong-foots you with its lack of chorus, here, it just seems like a jigsaw puzzle that’s missing a vital piece. 6/10

Bombay Bicycle Club – How Can You Swallow So Much Sleep

I’m not sure whether it’s simply down to a lack of decent competition, but Bombay Bicycle Club seem to have carved a niche for themselves as one of the UK’s most consistent and inventive guitar groups. How Can You Swallow So Much Sleep starts with around a minute of delicate guitar and swirling vocals, before drums which are almost hip-hop in style enter the fray to get things really going. As the track develops, it becomes clear that it falls between two stalls – not heartfelt and melancholy enough to be truly affecting, and not energetic enough to set the pulse racing. Therefore, it isn’t a classic, but it’s still a decent effort. If you’re waiting for new BBC material, this will probably tide you over nicely. The kind of thing that will keep existing fans happy, but is unlikely to win them too many new ones. 6/10

Monica & Brandy – It All Belongs To Me

When this duo released their mega-hit, The Boy Is Mine, in 1998, they were billed as Brandy & Monica. It’d be fascinating to know what legal wrangling and internal battles have been fought to change this billing around (there’s a good chance that you and I have different views on the meaning of the word, ‘fascinating’). Anyway, onto the track in question, and it’s all a bit of a mess. The heaviness of the beats doesn’t match the thinness of the production in any way. There’s a good deal of sass on display, as a man who’s wronged our heroines (What? Both of them?) gets told to return the goods that aren’t his. It’s in a similar vein to Beyoncé’s Irreplaceable or Destiny’s Child’s Independent Women (Part One), except nowhere near as good as either. Also, hearing an impassioned warble enunciate, “Log off your Facebook – it all belongs to me”, is genuinely funny, though not for the right reasons. Perhaps it was all an evil ploy by Brandy, so The Boy Is Mine gets more attributed to her, and the blame for this track lies more with Monica. Cunning. 2/10

Joker – Lost

Whenever I’ve heard this track on the radio, the DJ has always felt it necessary to mention that Joker is from Bristol, as if it were some dim and distant place where talent could never come from, rather than a city of nearly half a million people only 120 miles from London. There’s some pretty decent dance-style production work on Lost, and there’s a bit of an early 21st Century R&B/two-step feel to it as well, but both the MC in the verses and the children’s vocals in the chorus are irritating. It feels as if Joker is trying a little too hard to make something relevant to today that could push him into the mainstream, when he may be better off sticking to beats. Lost shows promise, but there’s a fair way for Joker to go just yet. 4/10

Cornershop – Milkin’ It

Whether they’ve been successful or not, in fashion or persona non grata, Cornershop have just carried on regardless, and there’s something kind of admirable about that. Milkin’ It has a real whiff of cartoonish, old-skool hip-hop about it (the lyrics even contain the line, “Let’s take it back to ‘88”). In fact, it seems to be a tribute to that golden age, but it’s not really fit to hold a candle to it. There’s just a list of references, a wandering bassline, the odd effect and some laid-back beats. It feels like a first attempt at a collage piece, and contains none of the invention and quality songwriting that Cornershop are renowned for. In fact, having just listened to this, I’m still surprised to learn it is really Cornershop and I’d probably believe anyone who told me it was someone else. 3/10

Drake feat. Lil Wayne – The Motto

I bought the latest Drake album, Take Care. I went into a shop, handed over money and received a CD in exchange. Now I learn that The Motto is a “digital bonus track”, meaning I’d have received this single if I’d have just sat on my sofa and purchased the album as a series of zeroes and ones. How is that fair? I’d ask Drake myself, but he’s probably too busy having emotionally unfulfilling sex with a procession of jaw-droppingly beautiful women, the poor guy. The Motto is a stripped-back, sparse track, with hand-clap percussion and warm, bouncy bass underpinning the MCing. While the lack of other instrumentation can draw attention to Drake and Lil Wayne’s grating drawls, it does add a real atmospheric edge to the composition. The Motto is a lean song, and all the better for it. It’d be nice if it had been on the album I legitimately purchased though. THANKS, GUYS! 7/10

Quickbeam – Seven Hundred Birds

The debut single from Glaswegian trio, Quickbeam, is a careful, considered and gorgeous piece of work. It’s difficult to place what producer Chris Gordon has added to the sound, but somehow there’s a real organic, live ambience to the song, as if all the instruments were recorded simultaneously. The vocals are delicate and come replete with an appealing Scottish burr. Quickbeam have been compared to Low and Sigur Rós and, on the evidence of Seven Hundred Birds, it’s a valid comparison. A slow, ponderous track, laden with beautiful strings; the only complaint is that it doesn’t come with the climactic, noisy release that some of the best post-rock epics do. At under four minutes, it’s actually a little too short, and it cuts away when it just feels like it’s getting going. As a mood-setting, melancholic work though, it’s absolutely wondrous. 8/10

Rizzle Kicks – Traveller’s Chant

When Rizzle Kicks released their last single, Mama Do The Hump, I posited they may have run out of goodwill and would soon be on the way out. I was then roundly laughed at by a Singles Bar reader (and rightly so) when the track went on to be a huge success. Despite that, I’m going to make the same assertion with Traveller’s Chant. Whereas Rizzle Kicks’ previous singles have had an admirable amount of excitement and zip about them, Traveller’s Chant is a contemplative song, unsurprisingly about the concept of travelling. In truth, it’s laid-back to the point of being sleep-inducing and although it’s got a head-nodding groove to it, it’s ultimately a pretty forgettable song. It’s three and a half minutes which has got ‘album track’ written all over it and as the fourth single from their debut LP, it could be a pretty futile attempt to wring out those final few sales. What do I know though? Given my track record, it’ll probably sell a bajillion copies and make Rizzle Kicks bigger than Adele. 4/10

The Singles Bar - 23/01/12

One of the joys of getting to write The Singles Bar on a weekly basis is the sheer variety of music you get to hear – old and new, mainstream and obscure. In just a dozen tracks below, we cover the return of a singer well into his 70s, the latest single from music’s great new hope, African-tinged R&B, Caribbean pop, hip-hop, soul, country and more. Of course, if you listen to any twelve songs released on a given day, the chances are one of them will be by David Guetta, and so it proves here. So, if you’re sitting comfortably, I shall begin.

Nerina Pallot – All Bets Are Off

Our first song wastes no time in getting started; there’s no time for anything fussy like “intros” with All Bets Are Off. Pallot’s voice is like a slightly more gutsy Norah Jones and the music’s even more tasteful. A perfectly nice mid-tempo, slightly rocky track with a sweet melody and eager strings at every turn but that’s all it is – nice. It’d be almost impossible to dislike this song but by the same token, I can’t really see how you could passionately love it either. I do wonder why people dedicate their lives to making music like this, but then again, there’s plenty about this world I don’t understand. It’s completely fine, but doesn’t tickle my fancy in the slightest I’m afraid. 5/10

Charlotte Gainsbourg – Anna

Singer, actress, real-life French person – is there anything Charlotte Gainsbourg can’t do? Her last album, IRM, was a disappointment and contained little of the elegant beauty that made its predecessor, 5:55, really stand out. However, on the evidence of Anna, Gainsbourg has decided to pursue the direction introduced on IRM – a direction that’s not particularly inventive or exciting, and one that puts her back amongst the crowd. Of course, there’s still that croaky voice with its prim vowels and deliciously enunciated consonants, but Anna has no dynamic, no jeopardy, no direction, and it’s disheartening to hear. 4/10

Arctic Monkeys – Black Treacle

Sadly, despite only just being old enough to have left their paper-rounds behind, it seems Arctic Monkeys are forever destined to spend their career failing to replicate the magic and electricity that resulted in their record-breaking debut LP. Black Treacle sounds like the kind of track Arctic Monkeys wouldn’t have even put on an album five years ago, let along released as a single. There’s a tired, sludgy pace to the song, and although Alex Turner’s lyrics are still reasonably sharp, even he seems bored by the whole affair. Maybe that’s the point and with a name like Black Treacle, it’s some kind of quasi-onomatopoeic satire designed to make music critics look stupid. Either way, like Charlotte Gainsbourg above, it’s disappointing when an artist you love is making music of such inferior quality to their zenith. 5/10

Lana Del Rey – Born To Die

Welcome to the review of the new Lana Del Rey single, Born To Die. I’d like to make one thing clear: I shall be reviewing the content of the song, and that alone. I shall not be reviewing her background and childhood, nor shall I be reviewing her appearance and the poutiness of her lips. I’m also not going to review her previous work under her real name and I’m not going to review her “authenticity” or “realness” because I’m fed up of it and I don’t wish to align myself with the myriad, pretentious, white, misogynistic, self-appointed arbiters of taste that appear to have engulfed the internet in the last six months.

Anyway, the track then. The tone of Del Rey’s voice is still something I’m finding difficult to warm to, and there’s always a suspicion with her work that the abundance of strings is masking something, such as the lack of a tune, perhaps. However, the more Born To Die progresses, the more Del Rey’s vulnerabilities come to the surface, the less assured she seems, and the more emotionally affecting the track becomes. The huge drum crashes in the chorus provide a stark contrast to the restraint of the vocals and while it’s a little too similar to Video Games, taken in isolation it’s probably a better track. See, it is possible to review her music properly. 7/10

Leonard Cohen – The Darkness

Like the later work of Johnny Cash, there’s an ominous mood and, yes, a darkness to this track right from the get-go. The guitar figure is simple – quick, finger-picked arpeggios finished with a two note riff, repeated over a twelve bar blues pattern – yet it’s incredibly effective. Also, Cohen’s voice is absolutely extraordinary, a low rumble that sounds effortless yet like it’s lived several lives too. The tone only really changes from throaty growl to hushed whisper, but holds the listener entirely rapt. It’s an old cliché, but Cohen could sing the phone book and it would sound great. The saxophone and the female backing vocals are a little on the schmaltzy side perhaps, but those are the only criticisms of what is a fantastic comeback single. 9/10 – SINGLE OF THE WEEK

Amadou & Mariam feat. Santigold – Dougou Badia

There are some collaborations that fill you with excitement before you’ve heard a note of the music and this is one such example. The Malian husband and wife duo have teamed up with boundary-ignoring singer/producer Santigold for Dougou Badia. It’s the collision of African and Western influences you’d expect, and the squealing, atmospheric guitar lines are supplied by Nick Zinner of Yeah Yeah Yeahs. There’s a lovely feel to this track which gives it the sense that you could quite happily listen to an hour of stuff that sounded a bit like this. Despite its wonderful elements, there’s something a little lacking in execution and the spark Dougou Badia requires never quite arrives. A minor quibble perhaps, but it’s one that prevents a good song becoming a great one. 7/10

Professor Green – Never Be A Right Time

Inexplicably popular rap wally Professor Green seems to be keen on revealing his sensitive side. However, in this poorly-written wallow-fest, he seems to be so morose he’s forgotten to write the lyrics until he got to the studio, giving the feeling he’s making it up on the spot. That’s the only explanation for the constant repetition, the lines that don’t quite fit properly and have syllable stresses in awkward places, and the sheer awfulness of some of Green’s “rhymes” (“Struggling to find the way to word it / And I’m supposed to be a wordsmith”). The gospel-lite melody in the chorus is simply dull and it sounds like Professor Green’s hardly bothered with this track. It would have been better for everyone if he hadn’t bothered at all. 1/10

Ren Harvieu – Through The Night

I’ve actually pretty much reviewed this track before for No Ripcord, so apologies if I repeat myself slightly if I repeat myself slightly (LOL, ROFL, etc.). BBC Sound of 2012 Longlist nominee Ren Harvieu has a simply gorgeous voice; one that envelops and comforts, and one that – given the right material – could see her pressing the buttons of consumers and industry tastemakers worldwide. Like the rest of her available material, there’s a strong 1960s, Dusty Springfield feel to Through The Night, and even though the build-up to the chorus is clearly signposted, the unexpected chord change at the crucial point still induces goosebumps when played at a certain volume. Expect to hear a lot more about Ren Harvieu as 2012 progresses. 8/10

David Guetta feat. Sia – Titanium

That David Guetta just will not go away, will he? As much as I admire anyone with a strong work ethic, his monopolising of the charts and commercial radio has reached critical mass, and the very mention of his name is enough to make me rock gently in a corner, weeping like a broken shell of a man. However, can the delightful and underrated Sia bring any respite to the Guetta juggernaut? Well, not really. Sia’s idiosyncratic voice brings such much needed humanity and warmth to Guetta’s faceless, club-friendly creations, but as the track builds, Sia’s voice strains and the techno tosspot ends up drowning out the only good thing on the track. There’s an appealing chord progression buried somewhere here, it’d be really interesting to hear an acoustic version of Titanium if one exists where the vocals don’t need to struggle so much. As it is, the unfortunate Guettaisation of music continues apace. 4/10

Bon Iver – Towers

While I’m by no means the biggest fan of Bon Iver or his alt. country, mountain-dwelling beardy ilk, I’ll happily concede his records contain some genuinely heart-melting, beautiful moments. However, Towers isn’t one of them. When the drums and backing vocals finally come in at around the two minute mark, it’s a welcome change of pace, but nothing more. The sound of a full band certainly suits Bon Iver more than the lone woodsman sound, but the double-tracked falsetto is now merely annoying, and there’s little of substance going on in Towers to lift it away from the realm of the forgettable. 5/10

Cover Drive – Twilight

After the horrific Lick Ya Down didn’t sound the death knell for the atrocious Cover Drive, they’ve decided to bestow a new single upon us. Like Lick Ya Down, it follows all the tropes of mega-selling dance-pop in the 2010s while adding a few Caribbean rhythms. If you’re thinking that sounds like an inferior version of a Rihanna record, then you’d be exactly correct, because that’s pretty much what Twilight is. Just when you think it’s reached its nadir, there’s an exceptionally weak rap that’s slathered with layers of autotune. Also, oddly for dance-pop, it seems to be at slightly too slow a tempo to actually dance to, which means it basically fails on all fronts. Well done, everyone involved in this, you should be proud – have you ever thought of turning your skills to running the world’s largest financial institutions? 2/10

Flo Rida feat. Sia – Wild Ones

After years of being largely ignored, it appears Sia has chosen January 2012 to make her bid for global domination, being involved in two singles with pop mega-stars released on the same day. The good news is that Mr. Rida hasn’t decided to murder the Suede classic, but the bad news is that Wild Ones is another Ibiza-influenced club track that completely wastes Sia’s talents. Flo Rida gives the impression of being an incredibly impatient man who can’t wait to “get the party started” so has to repeatedly add huge beats and jump in for a verse when the song’s progressing perfectly well without him. In case you’re wondering about the lyrical content of Wild Ones, I’m struggling to penetrate the multiple gnomic doctrines of Flo Rida but I think it’s about what a thoroughly marvellous chap he is, how he’s exceptionally popular with members of the opposite sex and how he enjoys nothing more than having a jolly time with some of his closest friends. Marvellous. 2/10