The Singles Bar: 02/07/12

Recent events show that these are hard times for the music industry. Figures released today reveal that for the first half of 2012, album sales were down 13.8% year on year in the UK. Also, just a few days ago, monthly music magazine The Word announced it was soon to print its last issue after nearly a decade on the nation’s newsstands. Uncertainty lies ahead but in the here and now, we have a seemingly booming singles market, and the following are ten choice cuts available to purchase from today.

Citizens! – Caroline

You can’t help but admire a band that like to use superfluous punctuation in their name. Londoners Citizens! are produced by Franz Ferdinand’s Alex Kapranos, and he’s certainly left his parent band’s fingerprints over Caroline (that wasn’t meant to sound as rude as it does, by the way). There’s a very Franzish, chugging bassline and jerky, post-punk energy but with a more electronic feel than the Scots. There’s a decent hint of glam in there too, and Citizens! are obviously fine scholars of this world we call pop. A solid effort, but nothing more than that really. It’s a relatively catchy, nicely put together indie tune, but not one that’s going to make you fall in love with this band and write their name on your schoolbag, exclamation mark or not. 6/10

South Four – Cougar Town

You’ve probably guessed from the name that South Four are a boyband.”Sussex’s answer to One Direction” (Says who? The Brighton Argus – that’s who) have reportedly signed a £1 million deal – how very exciting for them. Now, we all know the target market for teenage boybands is teenage (or younger) girls, so releasing a song about cougars seems a little bizarre. Musically, it’s like most UK boyband tunes in 2012 but, if anything, even more anaemic and processed than The Wanted et al. However, lyrically, it’s awful and embarrassing in equal measures (“I wonder what she looks like with her daughter’s t-shirt on.”). So, young girls, fall in love with these guys, join their fan club, follow them on Twitter and rest safe in the knowledge that what they really want to do is have sex with your Mum. Interesting marketing angle… 0/10

The Darkness – Everybody Have A Good Time

Listen up, South Four (and loads of others, actually), if you want to know how to do tongue-in-cheek fun, you could do far worse than turn your attention to The Darkness (first album vintage, obvs). It might be the comeback no-one asked for, but they’ve got a support slot for some Lady Gaga gigs, so they must be doing something right. As you’d expect, it sounds largely like a Darkness song, i.e. Thin Lizzy in spandex, but they’ve lost some of the lust for life that made Permission To Land such a huge success. It’s got the big riffing, the solos and it’s even got plenty of cowbell, but The Darkness have misplaced their unselfconsciousness and, as such, they can’t recapture that 2003 (or should that be 1976?) magic. 4/10

Dirty Projectors – Gun Has No Trigger

Dirty Projectors tend to split opinion quite fiercely, but I tend to generally sit on the ‘I find them pleasantly listenable’ side of the fence. For a Dirty Projectors track, Gun Has No Trigger starts off surprisingly conventionally; hip-hop inspired drums, haunting background vocals, a striking vocal line and not an awful lot else. It’s all rather beautiful, if not exactly the kind of thing we’ve come to expect from the Brooklyn sextet. Does this signify a shift into more mainstream territories? Let’s hope not, because as good as Gun Has No Trigger is (and make no mistake, it is very good), Dirty Projectors are at their best when combining pop with the avant-garde in increasingly more imaginative and unlikely ways. 8/10

Will Young – I Just Want A Lover

On his new single, Mr. Young is exclaiming the polar opposite of Sharleen Spiteri in the 80s, which as a corollary, must mean that he doesn’t need a friend. I Just Want A Lover follows the template of Will Young’s more recent forays into the charts, in that it’s more electronic yet AOR-focused than his work from the last decade. He seems to be pitching more towards the Scissor Sisters/Pet Shop Boys market, and on the evidence of this, he’s rather good at it. I Just Want A Lover shimmers throughout its three and a half minutes, and although it never entirely breaks free of its shackles, the hints of disco are more than enough to sustain your interest. The vocals are perhaps a little too vulnerable and fey for the production, but for someone who’s been at the forefront of pop for over a decade now, it’s the kind of song that should be applauded. 7/10

Plan B – Lost My Way

A few months back, I wrote that Plan B’s iLL Manors could well be one of the most important singles in chart history. I stand by that, but you couldn’t help but wonder where Ben Drew would go next. Would he keep up his hard-hitting aural attacks or would he retreat to the soul sound that had served him so well commercially? The answer is… both, in a way. There’s a definite soul influence in the sample that makes up the chorus, but he’s sticking to rapping for the time being, and it’s another morality tale full of deprived children with nowhere to turn. Lost My Way lacks the potency and immediacy of iLL Manors and, really, it just treads the same lyrical ground but with less flair and verve. Plan B has manoeuvred himself into a position where he could potentially become the voice of an under-represented generation – now he just needs to decide if that’s the role he wants and, if so, how to do it properly. 6/10

Gossip – Move In The Right Direction

What do you do when somebody’s standing in the way of control? Well, a move in the right direction if probably a good start. Ridiculous not-even-really-a-pun puns aside, this is track is a slick dance number, presumably designed to further complete Beth Ditto’s transformation into disco glamazon. Like the Will Young single above, there’s more than a touch of Scissor Sisters about it and in time-honoured disco tradition, there’s a strong sense of melancholy cutting through the seemingly joyous music. With their thrashing introduction into the wider world, there was a distinct danger of Gossip being one-trick ponies but, against all the odds, they’ve carved out a niche for themselves and Move In The Right Direction is a thoroughly brilliant record. 8/10

DJ Zinc & P Money – Reload

If you’ve not heard any of Zinc’s oeuvre, you may expect him to be metal (ok, sorry, the terrible puns stop here) but it’s actually as a dubstep DJ that he’s more in his element (I’m sorry, I’m sorry, that’s definitely the last one). With frenetic wobbles and beats from Zinc and fevered spitting from P Money, there’s something pretty exciting about Reload. It’s almost a throwback to the days when Kano and Wiley were starting to make their names on the grime scene and their collision of genres and uncompromising styles threatened to take the music world by storm. Reload isn’t quite up to that level of quality, but it’s certainly got plenty to recommend it. It seems the mixture of the two protagonists hasn’t alloyed (ok, I lied) Reload. 7/10

Martin Carr – Sailor

On the same day that the internet went into overdrive as Blur premiered two new tracks on Twitter, one of their Britpop contemporaries, erstwhile Boo Radleys lead guitarist Martin Carr, quietly releases his latest single. Over two decades in the biz obviously haven’t blunted Carr’s ear for an exquisite hook, and Sailor has them in spades. There’s a charming, almost ramshackle, magpie-like feel to the instrumentation – end-of-the-pier organ, scuzzy guitar and shimmering, psychedelic chords – that provides an unexpected delight. While many of the class of ’95 have either remained stuck in the past or resigned themselves to bucolic, sedate indie-rock, Carr deserves a hearty pat on the back for keeping the fires of invention still burning. Shades of peak-era Super Furry Animals live throughout Sailor – it’s simply wonderful, spellbinding stuff. 9/10 – SINGLE OF THE WEEK

Pet Shop Boys – Winner

Winner is intended as a track for the Olympics which means it’s already got an advantage; namely that it can’t possibly be worse than that God-awful Muse concoction that’s the official song. PSB inspire fevered devotion and love the world over and, by rights, they should be as up my street as it’s possible to be but, for whatever reason, with the odd exception, they leave me completely cold. They’re just too tasteful and mannered, and to me, their songs usually sound like they’ve been composed via an algorithm. Winner is another one of those; there’s nothing inherently wrong with it, but the celebratory platitudes and inoffensive electronic blips really don’t move me in the slightest. As nice as it is to have an Olympic-themed track which encourages some humility and acknowledges the transcendental nature of success, this is by no means a classic. Just to reiterate though, still about a thousand times better than the Muse song. 4/10

The Singles Bar: 26/03/12

Roll up, roll up! We’ve got debut singles, we’ve got established artists, we’ve got rappers, we’ve got singers, we’ve got major labels, we’ve got indie labels, we’ve got righteous fury, we’ve got cover versions, we’ve got metal, we’ve got rock, we’ve got R&B, we’ve got dance. All this in only ten tracks? A cornucopia of all that makes up popular music today can be found here, at The Singles Bar.

Azealia Banks feat. Lazy Jay – 212

A mere four months too late, 212 is finally getting an official release. It’s difficult to see why, since surely everyone who likes this track will already have it in some capacity. This is possibly the best example yet of why the singles chart should take metrics other than sales into account, since people consume music in so many different ways these days. Anyway, luckily for Polydor, the lag hasn’t done anything to diminish 212’s potency, as it’s still a jaw-droppingly astonishing record. Ridiculously assured for a debut release, 212 is effectively a track in three parts, each one better than the last, which all do a fantastic job of showcasing Banks’ flow. Fun, filthy and flirtatious, it’s not difficult to see why 212 made the world sit up and take notice of Azealia Banks. If the much-anticipated album is even half as good as this, we’re in for a treat. 9/10

Paul McCartney – Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive

I can tell you now, there won’t be too many singles review columns around that go from Azealia Banks to Paul McCartney. In fact, there aren’t many singles review columns at all, but that’s a conversation for another day. McCartney’s version of this much covered song from 1944 is a lovely, jazzy stroll which, sound quality aside, sounds as if it could have been recorded in the year it was composed. The lyrics are a little trite and McCartney now sings a little like someone doing a Paul McCartney impression, but this really isn’t bad at all. Enjoyable stuff, if a little pedestrian but let’s be honest, if you were half of the main songwriting partnership in The Beatles, you’d be allowed to do whatever the hell you wanted, wouldn't you? 6/10

Funeral Suits – All Those Friendly People

The latest single from Dublin natives, Funeral Suits, bounds onto the scene pulling off the clever trick of combining rock and electronica without ever sounding like they’re bandwagon-jumping. There’s a gorgeous, widescreen feel to the production (courtesy of one Stephen Street) and despite the high word count in the verses, there’s still a great, singalong atmosphere throughout. The chorus is perhaps a little lacking considering the relative quality of the preceding verse but this is still a highly impressive track nonetheless. There are also shades of some of the more intelligent moments of Britpop in All Those Friendly People but most of all, it’s the inherent quality of the writing that makes this track shine. The word ‘anthemic’ is heavily over-used in the music press, but Funeral Suits have captured the required magic and may well provide the soundtrack to your summer. 9/10

lostprophets – Bring ‘Em Down

lostprophets are also potentially providing the soundtrack to your summer… provided it’s summer 2004 you’re talking about. Kudos to the Welsh metallers for still being alive and kicking, but they’re still churning out the same crunching riffs and pleading vocals that were their stock in trade when they arrived on the scene a decade or so ago. Unsurprisingly, there’s a lot of ‘woah’ing and a fairly vague call-to-arms in Bring 'Em Down, but they really have been re-treading the same ground over and over again for far too long now. Chances are they have an incredibly dedicated fanbase who are more than happy to be fed music like this every couple of years but it’s an extremely dated sound. They’ve clearly got pop nous, but it’s all irrelevant really. 3/10

Plan B – iLL Manors

In the aftermath of the London riots last year, I wrote an article bemoaning the lack of articulate protest music arising from the events. I may well have spoken too soon. iLL Manors is Plan B’s look into the social causes and effects of the unrest in Britain, set to a thrilling and oppressive soundtrack. It’s an extraordinarily brave move – he became a household name with his soul alter-ego, selling 1.5 million albums, yet he’s moved back towards his hip-hop roots and tackled a political hot potato to boot. From being spot-on about the voyeurism and demonisation surrounding the inner-city working classes (“Keep on believing what you read in the papers, council house kids – scum of the earth”) to pinpointing some of the root causes of the tension (“Don’t bloody give me that, I’ll lose my temper, who closed down the community centre?”), iLL Manors is the kind of track the country needs. It’s something people can get behind, rally around and call their own. I don’t think anybody necessarily needs a singer to tell them what to do or be a role model, but Plan B may well be speaking for a large group of people who feel their voices aren’t being heard. It’s a little reductive and simplistic in places, but it’s too complex a situation to pin down in under four minutes. With iLL Manors, Plan B may well have created one of the most thrilling and important singles in UK chart history. 9/10 – SINGLE OF THE WEEK

Feist – The Bad In Each Other

I have a confession to make. I spent about ten minutes reviewing this track, writing about what a beautifully understated and regal piece of work it was and how Feist was one of the finest songwriters working in music today, until I realised I’d listened to the wrong song. Instead of The Bad In Each Other, I’d listened to Graveyard, the following song from last year’s Metals LP. So, ahem, onto the actual track. There’s a more bassy, bombastic feel to the production on The Bad In Each Other than you’d normally expect from Feist’s work. However, Feist can’t quite do bombast, and her fragile, expressive voice is more suited to the more delicate end of the spectrum. The Bad In Each Other is an enjoyable, affecting track, but it’s no Graveyard – I recommend you go and listen to that instead. 7/10

All The Young – The Horizon

All The Young have clearly set their arena-rock phasers to stun for The Horizon. It’s the kind of song bands make when they’ve released five albums, been on a seemingly never-ending world tour and are so detached from everyday life that they think this kind of nothingness is aurally appealing. There’s a strong feel of latter-day U2 to The Horizon (including vague-yet-sort-of-profound-sounding title). Also, despite being from Stoke-on-Trent, they constantly sound like they’re trying to ape the huge sound of American stadium-rock and it wouldn’t be a surprise if they recorded a music video on Route 66 some day soon. Insipid, pointless music which incorporates every negative element and hackneyed cliché of rock music in the last two decades. 1/10

volcano! – Piñata

There’s one thing you can’t accuse volcano! of being, and that’s dull. Piñata has discordant keyboard stabs, disorienting effects and drums that occasionally sound like someone being thrown down the stairs. Despite this, at some point, a pop song somehow manages to get out and, set aside from all the self-conscious quirkiness, a mighty fine one it is too. It’d be interesting to attempt to dance to Piñata, principally because its spasmodic, jerky beats would probably make you look like you were having a seizure. An exciting, inventive track that could have come out like an utterly horrendous mess but somehow seems to hang together wonderfully despite itself. volcano! certainly aren’t short of ideas or inspiration; a curio to invest in and treasure. 7/10

Jessie Ware – Running

Jessie Ware has one of those voices that’s extremely familiar-sounding, yet you can’t quite place it. Its closest musical cousin is probably a more restrained soul voice of the mid-90s; it’s as if one of En Vogue has gone solo. However, Running is a million miles from Whatta Man, as it’s dark, addictive and atmospheric dance. It builds fantastically throughout and is as sleek and stylish as modern pop music gets. Running has some similarities to the more sedate moments of the Katy B album, but Jessie Ware has an identity all of her own. This is music it’s difficult to pin down or claim as part of any scene, so hopefully it doesn’t fall between the cracks. Running proves that dance music can have a heart and have soul; Jessie Ware is going places. 9/10

Chris Brown – Turn Up The Music

If I were to reveal the full extent of my feelings about Chris Brown and Rihanna working together again, we’d be here all day and I’d end up with a world record reading for high blood pressure, so that’s probably best avoided. Turn Up The Music is the worst kind of say-nothing, do-nothing song, made by idiots, for idiots. Thumping dance beats, lyrics that have been recycled from countless other tracks and a general, pervading feel of the moronic. It’s been a decent Singles Bar this week, but this is life-sapping dross of the highest order. Why won’t Chris Brown just please, please go away? Look, if we all put some money together, we can achieve this. Someone set up a fund-raising site, I’ll help, I’ll run ten miles in a deep-sea diving suit if it gets sponsors. Just anything to make this violent, cowardly misogynist stop releasing records, please. 0/10

The Brits: LIVE BLOG

For the 2011 Brit Awards, I decided to run a live blog for No Ripcord. This mainly consisted of me glued to the television for two hours, typing at a rate of knots, furiously clicking the 'Upload' button, and constantly flicking between Facebook and Twitter.


Still, it was fun, there was some good interaction with other people watching the event, and it provided a decent traffic boost for No Ripcord (over 500 page views on the evening itself alone). It's too tortuous to copy and paste the whole thing here, but for a re-cap, why not visit No Ripcord and see for yourself.